


holding me like water in your hands

by literallynoonecares



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Gets Encased in Carbonite, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, F/M, Hibernation sickness, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rescue Missions, Rey takes care of Ben, Supreme Leader Armitage Hux, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28943943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallynoonecares/pseuds/literallynoonecares
Summary: After Hux finds out Ben killed Snoke, Hux encases Ben in Carbonite. Rey refuses to let Ben stay frozen forever so she mounts a rescue.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 21
Kudos: 81
Collections: To Find Your Kiss: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange





	holding me like water in your hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ceallaigh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceallaigh/gifts).



> thank you for the prompt this was so fun to write!!

Rey doesn’t last but a few weeks after Crait before she lets the force bond reignite. 

She curses her lack of resolve. 

She curses her need for information for the Resistance. 

She curses her need for knowledge about lightsabers. 

She curses the part of her that’s desperate to see and touch Ben again. To find out if he regrets what happened on the Supremacy. 

Sometimes she felt the twinge of regret in her stomach. 

Sometimes she wished she had taken his hand. 

He guides her through building a lightsaber. 

She tries to encourage him to leave the First Order. 

His hand brushes against hers. 

She takes care of a wound on his thigh.

He gives her supplies the Resistance would never have access to. 

She holds him when he cries. 

He kisses her one day. 

She kisses him back. 

Sometimes they fall asleep holding each other. 

_Could it be any more than this?_ , Rey will ask herself too many times to count.

⚫️ ⚫️ ⚫️

Hux passes the Knights of Ren and glowers at them. He should have been the Supreme Leader. He should have never let Ren live. 

He snaps out of his thoughts when he hears his name called. He turns on the spot to see a low ranking officer. 

“General Hux, Sir. You have to see this holovid from the security footage we recovered.”

“What is it of?” Hux asks. 

“The Supreme Leader’s death,” the officer informs him. 

A satisfied smirk comes across Hux’s face. 

“Lead the way,” Hux commands. 

In a private room Hux watches the security footage. 

He watches Ren kill the Supreme Leader. 

He watches him fight with the Jedi scum. 

He watches him try to extend his hand to her. 

He watches the Jedi leave Kylo to die. 

This is what he’d been waiting for. He knows he finally caught Ren in a trap. 

“Get the Carbonite. And the broadcast system ready for the holonet. This is treasonous. I will assume the title of Supreme Leader, effectively immediately.”

“Right away, sir.”

Hux turns to the other officer in the room. 

“Prepare the ysalamiri cages. Tell Ren to meet me on the deck in an hour,” Hux instructs. 

“Of course, sir.”

Hux had prepared for this day his entire life. 

And he’s certain he’ll never feel so satisfied as seeing Kylo Ren encased in Carbonite. 

He stands and waits for Ren to show up. 

He can see the look of horror and comprehension upon Ren’s face when he sees the ysalamiri and the Carbonite. 

“What are you going to do, Ren?”

“I’ll kill you,” Kylo says through gritted teeth. 

“A bit difficult when you don’t have the Force and there’s thirty blasters pointed at you.”

Kylo doesn’t respond.

“I saw the footage, Ren. I know what you did to the Supreme Leader. I know what you wanted to do with that Jedi scum.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“Spare me,” Hux spits out. 

“I am the Supreme Leader, Hux. You’ll address me as such,” Kylo states. 

“I’m the Supreme Leader now, Ren.”

Hux points to the two guards near the Carbonite and nods. 

Guards swarm Kylo and encase him in the Carbonite. 

Hux has never looked so smug.

⚫️ ⚫️ ⚫️

Rey immediately feels Ben disconnect from her in the Force. 

_There is always a thread that connects them. A dull hum that reminds them of each other._ It snaps. Ben’s thread snaps abruptly. 

Rey catalogues their recent conversations in her mind. Did she push him too hard to the light side? Did she say something she shouldn’t have? Did she misinterpret everything about their relationship? Had he given up on her completely?

Too many what-ifs. She’ll never know. She thinks too hard in the Force, desperate to connect. Desperate to _leave a message_ or something so stupid like that -- how can she let him know that she loves him, that she trusts him, that she knows they’ll do the right thing when it comes down to it. 

She wipes tears away from her face when Finn knocks on her door. 

“You have to come see this message Hux just put out on the holonet,” Finn says, out of breath and panicky. 

Most of the base gathers around to listen to the message. Rey puts on as brave of a face as she can -- she has a sinking feeling something is wrong with Ben. 

And Hux’s message to the galaxy confirms that. 

Rey’s head spins as she listens. She barely comprehends his words but she gets the gist. Kylo Ren killed Snoke. Kylo Ren let the Jedi escape. Hux is the Supreme Leader. And Kylo Ren is now encased in Carbonite in a classified planet in the Outer Rim.

That’s why can’t feel him in the Force. He’s _frozen_. Basically dead. Who knows where. 

Rey thinks she’s going to be sick. 

“I think he might be worse than Ren,” Finn comments. 

“And that’s saying something,” Rose adds. 

Rey can’t being herself to speak.

Days after the broadcast, the Resistance learns more about Hux’s plans for the galaxy. 

And no one says it, but everyone seems more worried about the future than ever before. 

Rey doesn’t allow herself time to wallow. Instead, she begins to formulate a plan. She can’t leave Ben encased in Carbonite. 

He matters too much to her and to the galaxy. He was so close to turning and she could feel it. His desire for the light side of the Force. She wouldn’t let that go without exploring that. Without giving him the chance.

⚫️ ⚫️ ⚫️

She contacts any First Order informant they’ve been speaking to. She meets them under the cover of darkness in the seediest places in the Outer Rim. She makes it a point to herself that she didn’t set out to mind trick the informants. 

But they don’t really give her a choice. 

It takes her months to get any sort of lead that isn’t fake. Her heart aches with the knowledge that Ben is alone and frozen. She works harder. She uses methods that are un-becoming of a so-called Jedi. 

She doesn’t care anymore. 

From one of the lower ranking officers in a cantina she tends to frequent, she discovers his friend was sent on the mission with Ben encased in Carbonite. They went to Onderon. He’s in the Outer Rim. He’s not many systems away. 

She surmises she can get to him in a few standard days. She just needs to get away from the Resistance. She can’t lie to her friends anymore. It weighs too heavily on her heart and she knows they know something is wrong. 

She approaches Finn, Poe, and Rose late one night and explains the basics of her relationship with Ben. She makes certain to call him Kylo Ren and to present his rescue -- capture -- she tells them would be helpful to the Resistance. She blames it on weird Force things she cannot explain. 

They decide to let her go. Finn offers to accompany her but Poe can’t spare him on their information and supply runs. Rey has to go alone if she goes at all.

“Keep your commlink open, Rey,” Poe tells her as he claps her shoulder. 

“I will.”

Finn and Rose hug her and wish her luck. Finn tells her to keep BB-8 close by. 

Rey knows she’s lucky to have friends like this. She knows they don’t fully understand or accept her decision and how she trusts Ben, but they know it’s important to her so they let her make the decisions.

Finn helps her pack and hugs her goodbye.

Rey feels less alone for the first time in months. 

⚫️ ⚫️ ⚫️

Rey’s grateful for BB-8’s company on the way to Onderon. She didn’t expect how long the journey would be and she forces herself to look away so she doesn’t get hyperspace sickness. What good would she be to help Ben if she loses her mind?

Rey docks the ship and liberally uses the mind trick. BB-8 stays on the ship and checks in with her over the commlink occasionally. 

She finally asks the right type of seedy people who have dealings with the First Order and she figures out where their strongholds are. 

Rey sees stormtroopers as she makes her way to the city center. They check papers and Rey mind tricks them before they realize who she is. She asks one of them about the Supreme Leader encased in Carbonite and he responds with, “the traitor?” so she knows she’s close. 

She watches them make their way through tunnels and studies their movements. At night, she mimics those and lets the Force guide her through the bunker. She runs into stormtroopers and they yell after her. They tell her it’s a restricted area. 

She kills them. She leaves no mercy. 

_There was a time years ago when she would have never harmed another person. But now she was out for blood._

She finds Ben’s encased Carbonite. It’s in a lower level. A dungeon. A few guards. Even frozen in time Hux treated him terribly. 

Rey mind tricks the guards to let Ben out of the Carbonite and then kills them as the process finishes. 

They’ve been enough use. 

She could handle the rest on her own. 

Ben practically topples out of the Carbonite and Rey catches him in her arms. 

“Are you an angel?” Ben asks. His hands reach for her shoulders and Rey realizes he can’t see a thing. 

“It’s me, Ben. Can you feel the Force?” Rey asks. 

“Rey...I can’t believe it,” Ben chokes out.

“Can you feel the Force?”

“It’s coming back,” he notices. 

“We have to get out of here,” Rey tells him as she lifts him off the ground. She’s never been more grateful for the Force than in this moment. 

“Where are the stormtroopers?” Ben asks. 

“Dead,” Rey states. 

“That doesn’t sound like the Jedi way,” Ben comments. 

“Glad to hear your sense of humor wasn’t impacted.” Rey rolls her eyes.

“It wasn’t a joke,” he says.

“I’m not a Jedi.”

“Right. I guess things change,” Ben replies. 

Rey drags Ben through the tunnels with the help of the Force. A few stormtroopers find dead comrades towards the start of the tunnel and Rey kills them, too. 

Buys them more time. 

They’re halfway through the city and almost to the hangar bay when Ben speaks again. It startles Rey. 

“This happened to my father,” Ben remarks, his speech still slightly slurred. 

“Did it?”

“Before I was born. Darth Vader encased him in Carbonite. My mom said right before he went in was when she said she loved him for the first time,” Ben comments. 

“Nothing like getting encased in Carbonite to inspire romance,” Rey laughs. 

“Is that how you feel?” Ben asks inquisitively. 

“Ben, you can’t even open your eyes or see anything right now. This isn’t the time.”

“I can feel you in the Force,” Ben tells her. 

“Let’s get you out of here,” Rey deflects. 

“Rey...” Ben says.

“Yes, Ben?”

“My last thought was of you,” he confesses. 

Rey feels her face flush. She’s flustered.

“We can talk about this later,” she insists. 

“I know you don’t feel the same. I just wanted you to know.”

“Ben. Later. There have to be dozens of stormtroopers coming after us.”

She lifts him with the help of the Force and BB-8 whirs excitedly when they make their way on the shuttle.

She buckles his seatbelt on the shuttle. He shivers and she covers him with a blanket. 

“How’s your eyesight doing?”

“I still can’t see.”

“I’m sorry,” Rey says. 

“Please don’t crash the shuttle,” he says.

“I’m a good pilot, Ben.”

“Not as good as me,” he scoffs. 

“Would you like to fly the shuttle while you can’t see?” Rey asks sarcastically. 

“Where are we going?”

“The abandoned base on D’Qar. I couldn’t think of anywhere else and I didn’t want to take you to the Resistance yet. I’ll need to stop for supplies, though.”

“Okay.”

He falls asleep. At least, Rey thinks he does. His eyes are closed and he’s silent. She picks up supplies and BB-8 watches Ben intently, like he’s afraid he’ll do something to hurt Rey. 

She mind tricks the shopkeeper. She almost feels bad about it but he’s price gouging her and making lewd comments and she thinks that robbing him is better than punching him. Or something worse. 

She lands the shuttle and sends a message to Finn that they made it safely. BB-8 transmits it and rolls around Rey’s feet as she stares at the control panel, silent. 

“I don’t know how to really help hibernation sickness,” she says after a while. 

“It’s okay, Rey. I need to drink water. I’m dehydrated,” he tells her. 

She unbuckles his seatbelt and he tries to get up but collapses backward unable to support his weight. 

He huffs. Rey can sense his frustration in the Force. She tries to soothe him. 

“It’s okay, Ben.”

“It’s not.”

“I can help you out,” Rey insists. Her voice is soft and she touches him tentatively. He freezes.

“Rey, I don’t know...”

“Relax, I’ve got you.”

He’s never been able to trust someone before. He’s never been cared for before. 

But he lets go. And he gives himself over to Rey. She lifts him with the help of the Force and leads him to the abandoned base. 

Everything’s covered in a thin layer of dust. She cleans as best she can but doesn’t pay close attention. She pours him glasses of water and lifts the glass to his mouth to help him drink. 

Rey wraps his shivering body in a few blankets and holds him close to her chest. She runs her fingers through his hair and kisses the top of his head.

“Drink some more water, Ben,” she whispers as she lifts another glass to him. 

“Mmm,” he says as he turns his head away. 

“Ben,” she coaxes gently. 

“Just a little more water, Ben. You’ll feel better I promise.” 

“Rey.” His voice croaks. He leans into her more. He sips a bit and pushes her hand away to rub his eyes. 

“Is your eyesight coming back?”

“A bit. It’s still blurry. And I’m so tired,” he says. 

“It’s been a long day,” she says. 

“How long was I in the Carbonite for?”

“Almost two months,” she answers. 

“Thank you for rescuing me. I love--“ He cuts himself off. 

“You can sleep,” she encourages him. She arranges a pillow and lays his body down. She lies next to him and cuddles him, her arm draped around his waist. She pulls him tightly against her. 

He’s fast asleep and snoring within minutes, his body finally giving up the fight.

Rey barely sleeps. She’s too anxious. There’s so much between them that’s been left unsaid or left in a strange limbo. She’s put too much pressure on their strange relationship and what if this is how it comes to a head? What if they can’t survive it?

She wished she had something to help her sleep. Instead, she holds Ben close and breathes in the scent of him to try and remind her of why she’s with him on D’Qar. 

⚫️ ⚫️ ⚫️

He’s still weak the next day. His eyesight is back and he’s not dehydrated anymore, but his body is still recovering from the hibernation sickness. 

They eat ration packs -- Ben looks like he wants to throw up but through the bond he lets her know how appreciative of her he is. 

“I wasn’t lying, Rey.”

“About what?”

“My last thought was of you. I didn’t have the Force -- Hux had ysalamiri in cages -- and all I could think of was you. How I’d disappointed you. How I knew you’d be worried,” he admits. 

“I _was_ worried,” she confesses. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t have a choice in the matter. I was worried about you. I knew I had to help you.”

“Thank you, cyar’ika. I don’t know how I will ever repay you,” he says softly.

“Come back with me.”

“They’d kill me.”

“I won’t let them. You’re valuable. Hux is dangerous. You have good intel.”

“And what happens after they know everything they need?” Ben questions. 

“I promise you will be safe, Ben. I promise,” she replies quietly. 

She moves closer to him. Their bodies touching.

He runs his fingertips over her forearms. She gasps and he stops. 

“Don’t,” she whispers. 

Ben backs away. 

“I’m sorry -- I misread --“

“No,” Rey says quickly. 

“I shouldn’t have assumed because you helped me that this is what you wanted.” He hangs his head. 

“Ben, I didn’t want you to stop. I want this. I want you. I promise,” she replies. She grabs his hand and squeezes. 

“You do?” Ben looks up at her and he can’t help but look hopeful. 

She nods. 

“Come on,” she says as she leads him back to the bunks. 

He follows her like he knows it’s his salvation. 

They stumble back onto the bed and Rey straddles him, his legs between her thighs. 

She leans forward and kisses him gently.

He breaks off the kiss and looks concerned. Rey cocks an eyebrow. 

“I’ve never...”

“It’s okay,” Rey tells him. She smiles and kisses his cheek. She interlocks her fingers with his and kisses him again. 

Ben reaches for her shirt and pulls it off of her. He unravels her breast band. He takes her breasts in his hands as he kisses her. He rolls her nipples between his fingertips and she moans into him. 

Rey sinks back and unbuttons his pants and slides them down. 

She takes the base of his cock in her hands and runs the tip of her tongue over the tip. He groans and bucks his hips towards her. 

She takes the length of him in her mouth. She cups his balls in one hand and fondles them as she lets him face fuck her. He never pushes her too hard and she knows she’s in control. And he wouldn’t want it any other way. 

This feels too fucking good.

“Rey,” he breathes. 

She looks up at him and bats her eyelashes. She takes his cock out of her mouth and she knows his eyes are glued to her spit dripping off his cock.

“I know,” she says. 

“Fuck,” he moans. 

Their bond is open wide and Rey knows he’s close to the edge. Everything about their experienced is so heightened and she relishes in it. 

“You can come, Ben.”

“I want to make you feel good,” he says through gritted teeth. 

“We have all the time in the galaxy. I want you to come,” she encourages him so sweetly. 

Her mouth is back on his cock and he’s thrusting and fucking her face until she feels his come down her throat, warm and all for her. 

_“Everything I do is for you,_ ” he tells her through the bond. 

“I know,” she says as she swings one of her legs over him and cuddles next to him. 

“I still want to make you feel good,” he says as he plants a soft kiss on her cheek. 

“You can. Later. You still need to rest. You’ve only been out of the Carbonite for a day,” she says. 

She plays with his hair until he falls asleep and she barely sleeps more than she did the night before, still buzzing with concern for him.

⚫️ ⚫️ ⚫️

He wakes up before she does. He kisses her and holds her hand as she blinks open her eyes. She smiles so softly at him and it almost makes his heart ache. 

“Teach me, cyar’ika. Teach me how to make you feel good,” he whispers against her skin. He kisses her neck and reaches his hand down her leggings. 

She nods and opens the bond fully. She shows him how she touches herself -- what she likes and what makes her come. He starts move his thumb in circles on her clit with reverence. He uses the Force to push her down and slides her leggings off of her. He kisses the inside of her thighs and the top of her pubic bone and relishes in the way she squirms under his touch. 

He couldn’t believe he wasted so many years of his life not spent between Rey’s legs with his head buried in her cunt. 

He learns the responsiveness of her body so quickly with the bond open. He finds exactly what she likes and what pushes her over the edge and she comes with his name on her lips and Ben’s certain nothing could be better than this. 

And then she asks him to fuck her and he nearly expires on the spot. And then he’s inside her. And he thanks the Maker.

And he corrects himself. There’s nothing better than _this_. There’s nothing better than fucking Rey. 

He learns the rhythms they both like and he’s never been more grateful for the bond for their mutual satisfaction -- 

_And maybe this is what the bond was meant for all along. For them to be together as one._

He comes too quickly. He knows this. But Rey feels so fucking good and he can’t help it. He comes inside her and watches his come drip out of her cunt. 

He’d be content never leaving this room. Never leaving her side. Ensuring they both never feel alone again.

“You don’t have to leave me,” she says quietly. 

He brings her hand to his lips and kisses her hand lightly. 

“I don’t think I ever will, cyar’ika.”

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are greatly appreciated :) 
> 
> now that this is off anon, here's this! 
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/literallynooc)  
> 


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